Everything is backwards

As I continue to grow and discover the secrets of life, I realize how many times I have run across the same information, but only recently do I really get it. I am going to chalk it up to the fact that I broke down all of my beliefs, end rebuilt them from ground up. ( That sounds much better than admitting the fact, that I completely avoided the obvious rules of life and success.)  One aspect that I believe that I am very fortunate is that I discovered at a relatively young age, that money wasn’t enough to satisfied me. I needed something to feed my soul. Maybe a lot of people know this, but for someone with expectations of money making jobs, this was a big thing for me. Once I started real-estate, I got a check for $18,000 one month. TO some that is nothing, to some it was huge. For me,  as a 24 yr old girl, that was huge to make in one month. I always remember thinking, if I had that much, my problems would be over. Every time  I would say that phrase the number kept getting higher and higher. The money just seemed like numbers. Numbers that  kept going up. I am not the type of person that feels a sense of power when it comes to money, I just wanted to do more of what made me happy. Boxing

Then came the battle of trying to do what makes me happy and still have money. This battle lasted about 2 years, and the battle won, and left me in debt. I felt that doing real-estate was taking away from my happiness. I resented it. Eventually I had to face the fact that I need money to survive, unless I want to live of the land, and I like my soft bed and my nice house.

This leads me to the point of learning the fundamentals all over again. Things are not going to be perfect, sacrifices are going to be made.  Right now I work a graveyard shift at night so that during the day I can sell real-estate and go to the boxing gym. It is a lot right now, but now instead of looking at real-estate as a burden, I look at it like a blessing. I have a lot of opportunity through real-estate. I am definitely not perfect now. I am learning how to manage my time, to be consistant, and to stay focused.  It will be a long road, but one thing that I have learned is how to take one step at a time.

For anyone out there who feels overwhelmed and feels like they are behind the learning  curve, don’t worry. I think we all learn our lessons in a different order. Some of us go backwards.  

Heavy thinking

Wow. I had such a realization today thanks to my wonderful friend Derik. Sometimes it makes me laugh how simple things are and how hard I make them. I called my friend and proclaimed ” I am going to make a choice!” I am sure his reaction was ” Oh great, what now.”  I told him that I was ready to move forward in my life. I have been treading water for so long and I wanted to make a decision. He continued to ask me questions. I wanted to choose between boxing and moving on with something else. He knew me when I first started the sport. He saw what a wonderful affect it had on me. Then he also witnessed the change in me once I toldmyself that I was going to compete. (Two years later with lots of frustration, I still have not competed.) I have been frustrated and the wonderful feeling that I use to have going to the gym in now inconsistent.

He asked me what changed. And we realized that it was my attitude that changed. The moment I “decided” to compete I gained weight, and have continued to get heavier and heavier.  The gym was good for a while, but after a year with no fights, it became a job. Just extra work that I have to fit into the day. Then when my bills have piled up and I bought a house and have more responsibility, the more it became a drag. I still love it, and even through all the frustration and haze I can still see that.  So this is when I wanted to make a decision. I am ready to move forward. I explained all of this to my friend and he pointed out how the moment I decided to move forward, I stopped. The time when I wasn’t thinking about moving forward, I was. All of this heavy thinking was translating into my body.  It was amazing to realize all of this.  SO simple yet, I was so blinded. So now I get to go train and enjoy boxing the way I always have.

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