Wow. I had such a realization today thanks to my wonderful friend Derik. Sometimes it makes me laugh how simple things are and how hard I make them. I called my friend and proclaimed ” I am going to make a choice!” I am sure his reaction was ” Oh great, what now.”  I told him that I was ready to move forward in my life. I have been treading water for so long and I wanted to make a decision. He continued to ask me questions. I wanted to choose between boxing and moving on with something else. He knew me when I first started the sport. He saw what a wonderful affect it had on me. Then he also witnessed the change in me once I toldmyself that I was going to compete. (Two years later with lots of frustration, I still have not competed.) I have been frustrated and the wonderful feeling that I use to have going to the gym in now inconsistent.

He asked me what changed. And we realized that it was my attitude that changed. The moment I “decided” to compete I gained weight, and have continued to get heavier and heavier.  The gym was good for a while, but after a year with no fights, it became a job. Just extra work that I have to fit into the day. Then when my bills have piled up and I bought a house and have more responsibility, the more it became a drag. I still love it, and even through all the frustration and haze I can still see that.  So this is when I wanted to make a decision. I am ready to move forward. I explained all of this to my friend and he pointed out how the moment I decided to move forward, I stopped. The time when I wasn’t thinking about moving forward, I was. All of this heavy thinking was translating into my body.  It was amazing to realize all of this.  SO simple yet, I was so blinded. So now I get to go train and enjoy boxing the way I always have.